From Bad to Worse
by iluvtorun
Summary: Some drabble from Morgan's point of view, set in the later part of Season 7, beginning with 07x17, I Love You Tommy Brown. Just Morgan's take on some of the things that happen in the episodes, and some "off screen" moments. I don't own criminal minds but I sure do appreciate CBS for giving us such great Characters to work with.
1. Chapter 1-Man to Man

_AN: This is all set in the later part of season 7 - beginning with 7x17. There was so much going on with Morgan in those episodes . . . this is all from Morgan's point of view, using what happened in the actual episodes as a basis. As always, I don't own Criminal Minds, and I sure do appreciate them for giving us such wonderful characters! _

Chapter 1-Man to Man

This could _not_ be happening. Even as Kevin Lynch stood before him that ugly ass shirt, he could not believe the words that had come out of his mouth.

Derek Morgan had been trying to finish up some paperwork before heading to the briefing room for a meeting about a new case they were being called in on. He had been surprised when Lynch showed up at his door. "Just the guy I'm looking for!" That wasn't a good sign. Although they exchanged pleasantries often, the two men were not friends. Derek tolerated him for Penelope's sake, because (for reasons that completely escaped him) she had been in a relationship with the man for years and seemed genuinely devoted to him. Even though Derek had no clue how someone who was as fashionable as his baby girl could love someone so . . . tacky. But, it would seem that Lynch was what she wanted, so he supported her, even though Derek could often make no sense of it. He was good at putting on an encouraging face when it came to Lynch.

Of course, now Lynch was at his office door. . . "Can we . . . talk?" Lynch asked hesitantly. Derek's first thought was that something might be wrong with his bubbly best friend. Why else would Lynch want to talk with him?

"Is Penelope OK?" Derek asked. First things first-he had to make everything was okay with her. Anything else, he could handle.

"Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, she's perfect. In fact . . . that's why I'm here." Lynch paused, took a deep breath, then began talking faster than Derek would have thought possible. "I know you are Penelope's boo and she's your Baby girl. And what I'm about to embark on involves the keen insight of someone who knows her inside and out. And no matter how much therapy I've gone through trying to understand your relationship, I know you're that person."

Whoa. Just like Penelope, apparently Lynch liked to rush when he when he was stressed. Derek decided to use the same methods he had to use with Garcia when she got like this . . . he had to slow her down and focus her on getting to the issue at hand. "Okay, Kevin? Land your plane."

Lynch had looked down at his feet and taken a deep breath. He looked up, meeting Morgan's eyes. "I want to propose to Penelope, and I need your help."

Which was what had Morgan standing there, staring at Lynch for what felt like an eternity. No, this definitely couldn't be happening. On SO many different levels and for so many different reasons. Behind Lynch, the elevator dinged, breaking Morgan out of his stupor and reminding him that he needed to do _something_. And since he couldn't think of a single thing to say (beyond "Are you out of your _MIND_?", which wouldn't do at all. That would upset Penelope when it got back to her . . . ), Derek spun around and headed for the briefing room.

Lynch followed him, much to his dismay.

"Please, I'm not asking for your blessing, I'm asking for your _advice_." Lynch continued.

_No way in hell I'm giving you either, _Morgan thought. He had to keep walking. He couldn't trust himself to think of anything to say at the moment.

Lynch began talking in that fast, frenzied way again. "OK, should I do it over a couple tacos and a nice can of redbull? Alright, should I take her to New York and do it at the Statue of Liberty? Maybe I should ask her at the round table right before you guys present a case?" The damn idiot actually paused and looked pensive when he said that last bit. Thoughtfully, he said, "No, actually that may not work given the gruesome nature of your job." Derek, keeping his face neutral as he possibly could, was inwardly floored. How had he not thought this out better than that? Was this the best he could come up with? He had always supported Garcia's relationship with Lynch, because he was what she wanted, but _damn it_ she deserved someone who could figure out how to propose to her without asking for help from another man. Lynch still wasn't done. "Oh, how about the high tech route and I pop up on an HD Mainframe?"

Morgan felt as if his head might explode. Redbull and tacos. Lynch popping out of a computer. Was this the best he could come up with? Penelope deserved . . . _more_. She deserved flowers and a beautiful view. She deserved words that wouldn't be enough to tell her how wonderful she was, but that would at least give her an _inkling _of what she meant to him. In those crazy seconds, with Lynch tailing him and spewing his horrendous ideas, Derek Morgan could think of exactly how he would ask Penelope Garcia to marry _him_. If she was his. Which she wasn't. _SHIT!_ He had to get rid of Lynch, and quickly, because he could see the subject of their conversation watching them approach with that look in her eye.

"Kevin, seriously, I have a meeting I have to get to." Derek said with finality, before walking through the door to the briefing room.

"Derek, please, come on bro, this is important!" Lynch leaned between the railing and practically yelled at Morgan's back as he entered the briefing room. Derek inwardly cringed. Lynch was SUCH a moron-if his baby girl didn't think something was up _before_ Lynch yelled loud enough for the entire bullpen to hear, she definitely would now. And the woman was ruthless when she didn't know what was going on . . . how could Lynch not know this about her? Surely he would know she was going to be on Morgan immediately wanting to know what they had been talking about. Derek Morgan, tough guy FBI, had a really hard time denying his colorful friend anything when she harassed him enough. This day was going to go from bad to worse quickly.

As soon as he was through the door, she was on him. "Um, hi, yeah, what was that about?" Penelope asked.

_Damn,_ Morgan thought again, _bad to worse. _ "Oh . . . yeah, he just wanted to talk"

Of course she wouldn't buy it. Penelope looked deeply troubled. "About what?" she asked.

He didn't want to lie to her. He never lied to her, and even if he did she would see right through him. "Just . . . guy stuff."

Her face fell a bit. "About me?"

_Damn, damn, DAMN, _he thought. What was he going to tell her? "I didn't say that . . ."

Hotch, God love him, saved Derek from having to come up with something by insisting they start the meeting.


	2. Chapter 2-History

_AN: I don't own Criminal Minds! Darn it . . . _

Chapter 2-History

Morgan sighed as he settled into the seat on the plane. Usually he was glad when they headed home from a case, and he worried that horrible images from the _case_ would haunt him. Today, though, he was dreading the flight home, because it would give him entirely too much time to think about this whole proposal business with Penelope and Lynch. Not to mention the fact that when he stepped off the plane and back into the BAU, he was going to have to face her. He couldn't lie to her and it wasn't his place to tell her what Lynch wanted to discuss. What was he going to do?

More importantly, what would her reaction be? If she knew, would she be happy? He wanted her to be happy, more than he wanted anything else in his life. But if happiness meant she was married to Lynch, what would it mean to their friendship? Lynch had been a part of Penelope's life for four years. They had a history together. Not nearly the history Morgan shared with Penelope, of course, but history all the same. His presence had caused some ups and downs in their friendship. Penelope had never pushed Morgan away, but he had tried to distance himself. George Foyet had come into their lives and nearly killed him. That was when he had slowly begun to distance himself from her. Because he wasn't entirely sure why Foyet had spared him and he had wanted, more than anything, to talk to her about it. But she wasn't his, and that fact hadn't really hit home to him until Foyet had sent him through that glass window.

So he had let the distance come between them, thinking it would make everything easier. Then Foyet had gone after Hotch, and left him at the hospital using credentials he had stolen from Morgan the night he had sent him through the window. Things spiraled out of control. Even though he worked by his baby girl every day, he took a huge step back from the flirting and tried to disengage himself from her life. It seemed only fair to her that he do it, and it was becoming painful to see firsthand how happy she was with Lynch. Not that he begrudged her the happiness. He just couldn't watch it. He had tried to find _something_ to replace the brightness Penelope brought to his life. He had hoped a friendship with Tamara Barnes, a relative of one of the victims of a case they were working, would help feel the void.. But even that fell flat-no one knew him like Penelope did. At the same time, he had been thrust into a position as acting unit chief. And the distance grew.

And then the entire world came crumbling down on them all when Foyet killed Hotch's ex-wife Hayley. Reminding them that they were not immune from the horror. And it was in the aftermath of all of THAT when he realized nothing was worth the distance he had put between Penelope and himself. He had tried to get her to promise once, long ago, never to stop talking to him, but he had pushed her away because she was happy. Because it had hurt his heart a bit to see her be so happy. He didn't really understand that, but tried to never dwell on it. Watching Hotch lose Hayley reminded him that life is fleeting, and that everything deserved to be treasured for as long as it was there. So he had returned to their old routine of flirting and movie nights. And if he needed her to be there for him, she always was. And as he had told her in Alaska, he would go on protecting her for every day of his life.

But if she said yes to Kevin . . . she would eventually marry him. Would he dance with her at her wedding? Just thinking of those things made his heart hurt in the most unimaginable way. How do you protect and cherish someone who is married to another man? He had adjusted to her having Lynch in his life, but changing the tacky man's title from boyfriend to fiancée just felt so . . . permanent. He couldn't imagine the two of them in a shared space-a shared home. Penelope had quirky style, and Lynch was a train wreck.

Derek groaned. He was thinking about this the wrong way-it didn't matter if he could see them married or not. It didn't matter if it hurt to think of it. He wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. She obviously loved Kevin if she had stayed with him this long. Derek had told her before that he was a good guy, and it wasn't a lie. Lynch obviously cared for her. It was beside the point that he was too dense to know that a proposal over red bull and freaking _tacos_ wasn't the sort of romantic proposal she deserved . . . _DAMMIT! _ He was doing it again.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He would support her. No matter what. Because he loved her, and he couldn't imagine his life without her in it. She always would be his solace, the thing that made his world make sense. Even if she married Kevin freaking Lynch. _God, please don't let that be what she wants_. And with that thought, he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3-Truth

_AN: More dialogue from 7x17 mixed in with my take on Morgan's thoughts . . . I don't own it or Criminal Minds, its all CBS!_

Chapter 3 - Truth

After stalling as much as possible on paperwork, Morgan finally picked up his go bag and left his office. He had managed to make it in there without speaking to anyone. He dared to hope that Penelope had left with the rest of the team already. As he walked toward the lobby, though, he saw that his lack of luck was continuing. There she came, walking toward him . . . a breath of fresh air even though he dreaded the conversation that was going to come. It was rare for them to go so long without at least talking on the phone. The last time he had seen or heard her was in the briefing room several days ago. For a moment, he allowed himself to simply be happy to see her face and hear her voice. "Hey you," he said, "I'm sorry I didn't call you back."

"That's totally okay." She said hesitantly. She sounded so unlike her usual bubbly self-to Derek's amazement, she sounded . . . _sad? _ "I have low grade ESP, so I can pretty much figure out what's going on. It works okay."

"Okay, I'll bite," he said. "What am I thinking."

"It's not what you're thinking. It's what Kevin and you were talking about," she said. _Crap_, Morgan thought, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as she continued on. "I've been wracking my brain over what it could be for the past 48 hours. He's been sweaty, he's been reading my favorite books, he's giving me my favorite foods . . ." She paused and took a deep breath. "Derek, I hacked into his computer."

"Penelope . . . " Morgan wasn't sure whether to laugh or groan. He shouldn't be surprised though. His baby girl rarely took well to not knowing what was going on.

"He's been looking at _rings_." She looked panicked as she blurted it out.

Morgan took a deep breath, trying to decide how to proceed. He remembered the whole fiasco with Battle, and how he had reacted completely wrong nearly everything she had said about meeting the man in the coffee shop. He remembered exactly where those bad reactions had landed her. This time, he would react as he should. He would encourage her . He would support her. He uttered those annoying words he felt like he had been saying _far _ too much in the past few months. "You know, the last time I checked, Kevin is a pretty great guy."

Tears formed in her beautiful brown eyes and she choked out "I knew it. I knew it . . ."

Morgan couldn't help himself . . . he was utterly confused. "Baby, this is a good thing, isn't it?"

"Maybe to you it is, but not to me."

Part of Morgan wanted to laugh, but he knew she wouldn't appreciate that response much. Her being engaged to Lynch was definitely _not _ a good thing to him either. But what on earth was she doing with him for _four years_ if she didn't want something more? Desperate for some idea of what was going on in her head, he asked, "What happened to your standing Tuesday night date thing?"

"That has nothing to do with this. When relationships get more official, they get messy . . . and you give, and you compromise, and people change and then . . . somebody goes away, and you are left empty. I don't want that, I don't want to be _empty_."

He could see her unraveling before her eyes. He wanted to ease the hurt and panic he saw there. Unable to help himself, Morgan reached out and gently grabbed the lapel of her jacket, grounding her with the personal contact. "Hey, hey, hey. Baby, I really don't think that's going to happen."

She reached up and grabbed his hand as if it was a life line. With conviction, she said "That is what _always_ happens. And I don't want any part of it. I don't want any part of it at all."

Morgan looked into her eyes, feeling the rough texture of her jacket under his hand and the softness of her hand over his as he thought about what to say. He had so many things to say, but where to start? Before he could even gather his thoughts though, the elevator dinged and Lynch stepped into the lobby. _Shit._ His fabulous luck continued. He cleared his throat and motioned to Lynch with his eyes.

Derek excused himself as quickly as he possibly could. As much as he wanted to stay and support Penelope, this was a conversation they needed to have alone. And he _really_ could use some time to process what his crazy girl had said and how he felt about it. A glance at the elevators told him that he would be waiting for a few minutes for an elevator . . . something he wasn't willing to do. He didn't want to overhear the conversation the two of them were about to have. Without a second thought, he turned for the stairs and focused on escape.

xxxxx

_I don't want to be empty._

Morgan took another drink of his beer and settled back onto his couch. He had come home from the BAU and fallen into bed until nearly dinner time. Now that he was rested and had food in his stomach, he concentrated on processing all the things Garcia had said to him in the lobby of the BAU. After all that he had been through, the pain he had endured during his childhood, he still believed in forever. His momma had shared such a powerful, devoted love with his father that he had no doubt that kind of love existed. Despite all he had seen, and all of the scars he carried, Derek believed in true love.

So the question was, did Penelope not believe in that kind of love, or did she simply not believe in that kind of love with Lynch? His heart had ached when she had spoken of feeling empty. There was so much light and life in her, he could not imagine her being empty. She could never be empty. If she were empty, she couldn't be Penelope. If she were empty, that meant he hadn't protected her. It was cliché, but love should make you whole and complete. Even he knew that. Sure there was a risk in handing your heart to another person, but any person who had Penelope's heart would handle it with care, or answer to him. She was overflowing with love and generosity and strength. Empty was an impossibility for that woman. He would never, ever let her feel that way. If she didn't know that, she was fool. And he knew Penelope Garcia was anything but.

He sighed. As much as he longed to call her and see what had happened with Lynch, he would give her the evening. It was getting late and even though he had slept most of the day, his body was ready to sleep again, since it was simply that time. Plus his girl probably needed rest too. She would call him if she wanted to talk. Tomorrow, he would make sure they had a nice long chat. He would see where her head was at . . . if she didn't believe in forever, he would try to find away to convince her it existed. If she just didn't believe in forever with _Lynch_, well then, he couldn't complain at all.


	4. Chapter 4-Looking Glass

_AN: This next bit takes place post 7x18, Foundation. This was a pretty personal episode for Morgan, be sure you watch it! Morgan relates closely with the victim and shares the story of his own abuse with him. I don't own any of the characters, or Criminal Minds. _

Chapter 4-Looking Glass

He should have know, that in typical fashion, things would not go as planned. That instead of clearing the air, things would get worse. The next morning Garcia had called the team and sent them directly to the jet. A unknown boy had turned up in Arizona showing signs of prolonged captivity and abuse. Other than speaking to Garcia about the case on the jet as they headed there, Morgan hadn't spoken more than 10 words to her. He had spent most of his time during the case in a hospital room with Angel, the young boy who had was taken but never reported missing.

Derek said goodbye to J.J. and got into his SUV. He was actually surprised when he looked up and found himself in front of Garcia's place. He shouldn't have been-the case was rough on him and he just needed to talk to her for awhile. J.J. had told him that it wasn't easy, what he had shared with Angel, and she had been right. Only Penelope seemed to make the hurt go away-something about the way she treated him made him feel . . . whole. Of course, being Penelope, a light was on. He parked, walked to her front door, and raised his hand to knock. Before he could, the door swung open and he found himself immediate enveloped in a hug. All he could see were blonde pigtails and blue ribbon.

"Hey, Hotstuff," she murmured.

"Hey there Baby girl. Miss me?"

"You know it. How are you holding up?" Penelope pulled her head back and examined Derek's face. Frowning at what she saw there, she pulled him in the front door. "Wait, I'm second thought, don't answer that. Food, drink, and then we talk." Dragging me through her tiny studio apartment, she more or less shoved him into a chair. Before he could really process what was happening, a beer and some sort of cheesy looking dish that smelled absolutely delightful appeared before Derek. "You cooked, Baby Girl?"

She poured herself a glass of wine and shot him one of those incredulous looks of hers. "Handsome, I haven't so much as spoken to you in days. I can count, on one hand, the number of times that has happened. It wasn't fun, and if you didn't come over here when that flight landed you darn well know I was going to show up at your door."

Derek smiled. Not quite a full smile, but pretty close, which was saying something given the way he had felt before he walked through her door. She always knew how to bring in the light. He picked up a fork and took a bite of the cheesy concoction . . . it was some sort of Mexican affair, with lots of spice. His girl could cook when she put her mind to it.

Usually, after a rough case, she would make small talk about the things she had done in her down time. But tonight, the elephant in the room that was the horror of the case was joined by another elephant—the conversation they had the last time they had been face to face. But that was one of the amazing things about being with her—sometimes silence was absolute acceptable. They ate in comfortable silence. When they were finished, Derek rose moved to the couch. He opened his arms, which was the only invitation required for Penelope. She snuggled against him, her head nestled in against his neck. They had always cuddled, but Derek couldn't help but feel that she was closer than usual. It felt different, more intimate. Maybe it was the raw edges left over from the case. Or maybe it was something else . . .

"So, spill," she said softly.

His arms tightened around her. "God, Penelope . . . It was. . . horrible. That boy was just so broken. And it took so long to reach him. But he was so strong, he came around. He put up with so much for so long." And he talked. He told her about Angel. He knew she had seen the facts on her screens, seen the horror in the files, and he didn't have to worry about scaring her. He told her how it made him feel about his own abuse, and he didn't have to worry that it would change how she saw him. He had told J.J. that what had happened to him had made him who he was, and as he spilled his guts to Penelope, he realized he really believed it now. When his team had first uncovered his abuse, he had felt so ashamed. But now, thanks to time, the love and support of his team, and—if he was honest with himself—because of the woman in his arms, he truly believed that he was a better, stronger, more capable person.

"And do you know the worst part baby girl?" he whispered, turning his face to nuzzle her hair. "When I caught the bastard, I wanted to kill him. Had Rossi not pulled me off of him, I probably would have beaten him to death, just like Hodge did Foyet." He felt her hot tears touch his neck. He knew that she cried not only for Angel, but also for his lost innocence. It didn't bother him though, because he knew she wasn't crying because she felt sorry for him. She cried because it made her mad, and a little sad. As usual, there really wasn't a need for words between them about it. Her lips press in a lingering kiss below his ear. The contact left his skin blazing—that was something new. They kissed each other on the cheek often, but this too felt . . . different. Derek wondered again if it was his own raw edges, or if something between them was shifting.

"Derek, you were the only one who could help that boy—he probably never would have opened up to anyone the way he opened up to you. I'm just . . . proud of you sugar." She sniffled, and he kissed her forehead. They sat on the couch in silence for a long time, Morgan stroking her back while she drew circles on his arm. It had been a long week, and he knew they were both mentally and physically exhausted.

"Hey, Penelope?" He asked, feeling his lids getting heavier.

"Hmm?" He could tell sleep was close to overtaking her.

"What happened with Lynch?"

He felt her finger pause on his arm, felt her draw in a breath and sigh. "Can we talk about it later hot stuff? I'm just . . . drained."

He knew what she meant. He kissed her again on the forehead. "Love you baby girl, no matter what."

"Right back at you Derek." She murmured. And they both fell asleep right there on the couch.


	5. Chapter 5-Unexpected

_AN: Thank you all for the great reviews so far! This is only my 2__nd__ fan fic so thank you for the positive feedback. Our poor hero just can't catch a break. This chapter leads in to 7x19, Heathridge Manor, and ends with the beginning of 7x20, The Company. And we all know how hard that one is for our guy. The dialogue at the end is straight from the epi-I don't own it, I don't any of them or Criminal Minds. Still. Drat!_

Chapter 5-Unexpected

Derek woke up to sunlight streaming in Penelope's windows and the smell of coffee. At some point in the course of the night, he had stretched out on the couch. His baby girl must have given him a blanket. He stretched, then strolled into the kitchenette to get some coffee. He found a note tacked to the fridge:

_Chocolate Thunder,  
Drink coffee. Bagels in the fridge. Make yourself at home and then head to the office. No rest for the weary.  
Penelope_

Derek wondered what had happened to days _off._ They usually had them after cases. But it seemed like they hadn't had a day off in a very, very long time. He still needed to talk to Penelope about what had happened with Lynch. As he poured himself a cup of coffee, part of him couldn't believe that they hadn't talked about it yet. But he knew they had both been exhausted the night before. He was surprised how well rested he felt—usually sleep after a case like the one they had just come off of was scarce. Derek knew it was because Penelope had been close. She had helped him vent the things he usually kept inside, soothing the weary, tattered edges of his soul. He thought again about what she had said in the lobby at the BAU several days ago. _I don't want to feel empty_. He imagined that was how he would have felt if had gone home last night instead of coming here. Empty and used up. Then again, he probably wouldn't have, because his crazy girl had told him she would have shown up at his doorstep if he hadn't shown up at hers.

After enjoying a cup of coffee and a bagel, Morgan headed toward the shower. He smiled as he remembered the last time he had showered there—Penelope had fought with Kevin and then imbibed in too much wine. She had called him, and he had come over for a movie and a long talk. But is crazy girl had woken up and freaked out, because she hadn't been able to remember what had happened between them. Derek shook his head . . . if something had happened, it would have been _damn _memorable. But she should have known him better to think that he would let that happen when she was drunk. She had freaked out so much over even the _thought_ that something more had happened between them . . . he supposed he shouldn't have been at all surprised at her reaction to the knowledge Lynch was thinking about proposing. His girl really did NOT like change. He frowned—that only reminded him that he still had no idea what had happened between her and Lynch. He really needed to stop calling her "his girl" in his head—as far as he knew, she and Lynch were still together. She couldn't be _his_ girl if she was still with Lynch. He would make sure they got away alone at lunch so that they could finally have that talk.

xxxxxx

Derek sank down onto the couch in his office, exhausted. He really, really should have known better than to think they were going to get down time. The way the past few weeks were going, he was beginning if any of them would ever get a break. Twenty minutes after he had come into the office from Penelope's, the team had been sent to Oregon. That had been ten days ago—they had just returned to Quantico a few hours ago and it was nearly two am. He had been stuck for hours doing paperwork—a sacrifice he willingly made so that Hotch could spend more time with his son Jack. He still had more to do, but the need to sleep outweighed the need to finish paperwork.

Morgan missed Penelope—they hadn't had any time to talk, and all the time on the plane ride home was spent trying to catch up on some consults that were backlogged since they had been on the road so much lately. So they certainly hadn't had any time at all to talk about the whole Lynch thing. He missed her smile, and could use a good dose of her sunshine. He thought briefly about calling her, but knew that she would be sound asleep. Tomorrow—they would talk tomorrow. He was due for some down time. They had to have a break. _Tomorrow_. Sleep overcame him.

xxxxxxx

Derek woke to the sound of his phone ringing. It was still dark—he couldn't have been asleep for more than a few hours. Derek lifted the phone and look at the caller ID. Sarah? Nothing good could come from his sister calling him at such an ungodly hour.

"Hey, everything alright?" He asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Derek, you need to come home." Sarah sounded panicked. Derek's heart froze in his chest.

"What's wrong, is it Ma?"

"It's Desiree, she's been hurt." Sarah's voice broke and he knew she was crying. Grabbing his keys and his go bag, Derek headed for the door. As he drove to the airport, he thought again how he should have known better. Things kept going from bad to worse. But even he could not have imagined what was coming next.


	6. Chapter 6-Life Line

_AN: Most of the dialogue here comes straight from 7x20, The Company. I don't own it, and I don't own Criminal Minds._

Chapter 6-Life Line

Derek Morgan felt like a coward. He was hiding in his car because he simply could _not_ be in that hospital for a second more. Things had been spiraling since his sister had woken up in the late morning, shortly after he had arrived at the Chicago hospital where her injuries from her car accident were being treated. Desiree had woken up and told Derek she had seen Cindy. That she had tried to chase the car Cindy was in, and had been in a horrific collision as a result. _Cindy,_ their cousin who had disappeared after being forced to leave her home town by a crazed stalked. Their cousin, who everyone had believed dead. They believed she was dead because last year, Morgan had lied to Cindy's mother, his aunt. He had told her that a serial killer in Jacksonville, Florida had confessed to killing Cindy. He had wanted closure for his family, the ability to move on. He had been so sure she had been dead.

Desiree was certain of what she had seen. Morgan had called Hodge and the team was on their way. He had told them what he could about the case over the phone. His aunt had come to the hospital after Sarah had called her, and had been so furious with him that she had actually slapped him. He supposed he deserved that, and so much more. He simply couldn't take it anymore—he couldn't take looking at Desiree's battered face, couldn't take Sarah's accusatory glances in his direction. So he had retreated to his car. Like the coward he was.

His phone rang. He looked at the caller ID. Of course it would be his baby girl. He had sent her a text when he arrived in Chicago. _Emergency, in Chicago_. That was before he had understood what he was dealing with. She had heard the rest from the team—it had been hard enough for him to tell Hodge about his lie. He didn't want to repeat it to her.

"Hey," he sighed leaning his head back against the head rest.

"Hey. " He closed his eyes as she spoke, letting her voice wash over him. "I sent you the case files Chicago P.D. sent me."

"I got 'em." He didn't want to talk about the things he was trying not to think about. He just wanted to hear her voice.

"So, there's that," she said. "Bad, huh?"

Derek laughed a dry, mirthless laugh. "Yeah, yeah, it's pretty bad." There was a pause—there hardly ever was dead air when he was on the phone with her. "Penelope, can you just talk to me?"

"Uh huh, yeah, what about?" She sounded unsure of herself.

"I don't care, just talk." He felt like he couldn't breathe, that he might drown in the emptiness. He needed her voice to be his life line. He closed his eyes, so that he could picture her. He was sure she was wearing something colorful, probably with a flower in her hair.

"Okay, um . . . " She took in a shaky breath.

"What?"

"This is the first time in my life that I don't have anything to say, except that I'm here for you. Okay, Derek? I'm right here."

This time _he_ was the one pulling in a shaky breath. "Yeah, I know you are." And he did. If it got bad, he would call her, and she would pull him back. She wouldn't let him slide into the darkness.

She then managed to talk to him for a good five minutes about random little things. Her pens, something she added to his "special fun drawer" in his office, the coffee she had gotten from the coffee shop that morning. Just little bits of drabble to fill the air. He felt like he could breathe again, felt like his chest was no longer a hallow pit. When this was over, he knew he would need to really consider what that meant, that she could do that for him. For now, it was enough to help him get out of the car and face whatever was to come.


	7. Chapter 7-Focus

_AN: More scenes from 7x20, The Company, with a little extra interaction from our two favorite characters. I don't own them and I don't own Criminal Minds_

Chapter 7-Focus

This was a never-ending day. The sun had finally set, and Derek Morgan had never felt so beaten down. As they had driven back to the precinct in the SUV earlier in the day, away from the home his cousin had shared with her captor, he really thought he might have to ask Reid to pull the SUV over so that he could throw up. All of the details they had uncovered at that house had made him feel ill. They had found a head box and a slavery contract at the house. Malcolm Ford had brainwashed his cousin, until she no longer knew her own free will. She had been enduring 5 years in a sadomasochistic hell that, because of what he did for a living, Morgan could imagine too well.

He had interviewed his aunt about Malcolm Ford, and had the unfortunate job of showing her the slavery contract. He had explained to her some (but thankfully not all) of the hell that Cindy was living in. The team had delivered the profile to the Chicago P.D. while he had done that. Afterward, there was little for him to do but wait. The rest of the team was doing what they did best, but he found himself with nothing to do. Once again, he found himself barely able to function. The nauseous feeling was returning again. His phone buzzed, indicating he had a text message.

_Busy bee checking in with her hot stuff._

He smiled and typed a response. _Better than I was. Now back to work._

Within a few moments her response appeared. _You know it. Love you D. _ She always managed to know when he needed her to pull him back together.

Ten minutes later, all hell broke loose.

xxxxx

Morgan walked through the grocery store, unable to believe that his cousin had been here less than an hour before. Even harder to believe was that the bastard that had held her captive was on her way to the station while he was standing here. When they had caught up to Malcolm Ford's van, Cindy had been nowhere to be seen. The bastard had said Morgan's name, laughed in his face and then smiled an evil smile that chilled Morgan to the bone. Now that Ford was in custody, Derek had crossed over that sick, helpless threshold and was now seriously angry. He wanted to be at the station, so that he could look the man in the eye, and break him down. Instead, he was in that damn grocery store, and his rage was building to the boiling point.

His phone rang. It was, of course, Penelope.

"Yeah?" He barked out.

"Wow…" She breathed, obviously stunned by the way he answered the phone.

He closed his eyes. He _always_ snapped at her when he was stressed about a case. "Baby, I'm sorry, it's been a long night."

"Okay, Mr. Snappy, I was just letting you know that I sent the grocery store security camera footage to your tablet."

He looked down at the tablet in his hand. Who the hell _cared_ about the security camera footage? The rage boiled again, rolling in his chest.

"You're welcome?" He had almost forgotten he still held the phone until he heard Penelope's voice again. He heard her take a deep breath. "Okay, out with it. Where is your head at presently?"

"Honestly, I'm trying to figure out why I'm not back at that police station trying to _break_ this son of a bitch." The anger showed through again as he gestured, even though Penelope could not see him.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh." She sounded . . . disappointed?

"What are you doing, what was that for?" Derek was a bit shocked, she hardly ever sounded disappointed in him.

"For thinking that this is about you," Penelope said matter-of-factly.

"Penelope, this _is _about me, he called me out by name!"

"OHHHHHHHH!" She was yelling this time, so much that he held the phone away from his ear.

He was going to lose it, the anger welled in him. "Will you _stop_ doing that?"

"Seriously? Derek," she said. "Seriously. In the entire time I have known you, you are, like, the glistening hero in the movie of life. And now, just because some guy—some ass hat guy—calls you out by name you think you have the right to get all weird and decide 'this time its personal.' Really, Derek, did you ever stop to think that said ass hat is exhibiting this behavior just to get under your skin?"

He couldn't believe she was doing this to him! "As a matter of fact I have."

"Okay, well a real hero would roll with that instead of tripping over his gigantic ego. And as a wise black man once told me, 'Baby girl, you be trippin.' So I tell you what, why don't you call me back once you've gotten off the self absorption train and decide to be a real hero, the kind that Cindy is waiting for. I am hanging up on you!"

As Derek herd the definitive click. He hated that sound—it reminded her of the last time she had hung up on him. That time had resulted in her being shot. He closed his eyes and gripped the phone. She was right though, he needed to stop being angry and focus on the job he needed to do. He looked at the tablet in his hand. Ten minutes later, he was so glad he had Penelope in life to keep him on track. Everything Cindy had done while in that grocery store was a message just for him. If he went to the station instead of coming there, that message may have never been heard, loud and clear.

As he headed out the door for the station, he typed a quick text message. _Exited self absorption train. Thx for reality check baby girl. _ When all of this was over, he was really going to have to make sure she got how much she meant to him.


	8. Chapter 8-Hero

_AN: Thanks again all for the great reviews! Finally, we're to the end of 7x20, The Company. And we can get to the good stuff J I don't own Criminal Minds, if I did we'd see much more of M&G!_

Chapter 8- Hero

Derek Morgan sat down on the edge of the desk at the precinct, taking in the amazing, unexpected sight before him. The sight of Cindy and her son—his _nephew_—reuniting with his aunt and Sarah. He had a nephew. It had been a crazy, intense six hours getting them here. But here they were, all the same. Just two days ago, he had been certain that Cindy was dead. He felt so overwhelmed; he could feel the tears threatening behind his eyes.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he wasn't surprised as Penelope pressed a cup of coffee into his hands. "There's my hero," she said, caressing his neck and leaning into him as she sat down next to him. He kissed her forehead and breathed in her scent. He felt suddenly felt whole and complete, because he knew he would not have to process everything from the past two days alone.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there before something that should have been glaringly obvious occurred to him. "Baby, thanks for the coffee, but . . . we're in Chicago."

Garcia chuckled, turning her head to kiss his neck. "You, my amazing super hero, have fabulous powers of observation."

He turned and looked into her eyes, serious and confused. "How are you here?"

"Officially, or unofficially?" She asked, smiling and wiggling her eyebrows again.

He laughed. The sound almost surprised him, it seemed like it had been forever since he had smiled, yet alone laughed. "Spill, woman."

"Unofficially, Hotch. He didn't want you to be alone when this ended, so he made sure to have a plane waiting to bring me here. Which was good, because everything else I was looking at would taken a lot longer. I was already looking when he called me."

He looked at her, then over to the bull pen where the team was gathering their belongings. "Um, wow," he said, practically speechless.

She smiled a somewhat sad smile, grabbing his hand to pull him up from the chair. "No way was I sitting in Quantico while you dealt with the aftermath of this Hot Stuff. I know it was hard and I wasn't going to do it. Period." She led him toward the door. Before he knew what was happening, they were in the car he had rented when he had arrived in Chicago, headed . . . where?

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"To a hotel. You need sleep. The team is heading home as soon as they gather their gear. You are staying for as long as you want, to catch up with your family, and I am staying for as long as me want you to."

Because he was so tired and raw, he said the first thing that popped up in his mind. "I'll always want you to stay."

She smiled at him, meeting his eyes for just a moment, then turned into a hotel parking lot. Using a key card, she opened a door to the hotel room. Morgan was surprised to see pizza and beer waiting for them. How had she done all of this? He could feel exhaustion overtaking him as he followed her into the room. He was feeling rather overwhelmed again . . . she had come all this way to be here for him. What had he done before she had come into his life?

As Penelope walked past him to deadbolt the door behind them, he snaked his arm out and grabbed her, pulling her to him. Her arms came around him and held him tightly as he buried his face in her hair. "It's okay Derek. You did it, you found her." Penelope whispered. With that, he lost it. He let the tears come. He hardly ever let himself cry in front of other people. Certainly never in front of women who weren't family. But then again, she _was _family. She was as much a part of him as his mother and sisters.

At some point, they moved to the bed, and she held him while he told her the worst of it. He knew he cried more. Penelope didn't say much, she simply moved her hands over his back in soothing gestures. When there was nothing left to say, when the tears were gone, she pushed him toward the bathroom. After taking a shower, he came out to find her in her silly kitten p.j.s. She gestured to a chair at the tiny table. He sat, and ate the things she pushed in front of him.

While he ate, she talked, picking up the conversation they had started back at the station. "Officially," she said, "I'm here to help the Chicago P.D. upgrade their link with our databases. Of course, I did that all from the plane on the way here, but no one will be the wiser. Like I said, I was coming one way or the other, Hotch just made it happen sooner rather than later. I was worried that they would need me once I left, but Kevin agreed to be on call if I needed him."

_Kevin_. With everything that had happened over the past 48 hours, Derek had completely forgotten about all of the business with Lynch. "About, that, Baby Girl . . . "

She looked at him, frowning. "I don't want to talk about it."

He laughed. "Nope, sorry. Not going to cut it. I just spilled my guts to you. AGAIN. I don't need to remind you I did the same thing on your couch last week. I think this is a two way street, beautiful. I'm tired, and I really want to sleep, but every time I go to sleep thinking we'll talk about what's going on with you _tomorrow_, something happens and I don't see you for days. So please. Don't make me wait anymore."

She sighed, and to his surprise, reached for a beer. He smiled again. He was finally going to get some answers.


	9. Chapter 9-The Beginning

_AN: This is the last chapter—I hope you guys have enjoyed reading as much as I have enjoyed writing. Have a safe and blessed Thanksgiving! I don't own Criminal Minds._

Chapter 9-The Beginning

To Derek's dismay, Penelope was quiet for several minutes. "Come on, Penelope, out with it."

She signed. "There really isn't much to tell Hot Stuff. He came, you left, he figured out I knew. He didn't understand why I don't want to change anything."

Derek took a breath—he didn't want to push her, but he really didn't understand either. "Why don't you, though? You've been with him for four years, baby."

"I like him having his space and me having mine. I don't want to change that. He was so angry; he asked me if I was adverse to marriage, or just marriage to him." Penelope frowned and took another drink of her beer. She didn't even like beer, so she must have been majorly stressed about this conversation if she was drinking one.

Morgan frowned too—he was wondering the same thing Lynch apparently had been. Was she against marriage, or just marriage to Lynch? "So . . . what did you tell him?"

"Nothing, he stormed off before I could really respond. But that wasn't the point anyway! I told you, Derek, when you make things official, things change."

And now, FINALLY, he could ask the question that had been bugging him for weeks. "And you don't want to be _empty?_ Why on earth would love make you empty baby girl?"

"Because!" She was suddenly practically yelling. "Because if you make it official, and you invest your entire life into someone, then you have all your eggs in one basket. When they leave, everything is going to remind you of them. " She was becoming increasingly upset, tears welling in her big brown eyes as she got up to pace around the hotel room. "They will be gone and everywhere you look you will see memories and . . . and . . . then there's nothing, Derek. Nothing but emptiness."

And he understood. He knew her that well. Morgan was pretty certain that Kevin Lynch did not understand, because while he had shared her bed and a part of her heart for the past 4 years, he clearly hadn't paid that much attention. If had been paying attention, he never would have considered redbull as the appropriate mood setter for a proposal. Morgan placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. As he had done so many times before, he had to put his thumb under her chin to tilt her face up so that she would meet his eyes.

"Baby, I know it hurt when your parents died. I know that you didn't have anyone. But you won't ever be alone like that again. You can't let fear keep you from having a life." Even as he said it, he hoped to God she wouldn't take his words as him encouraging her to marry Lynch. That was certainly _not _the goal here.

"How can you say I'm not going to be alone like that again? You . . . you . . . you don't know that!" She was agitated again.

He sighed. "Yeah, baby, I do. You will always have us. Your family. You will have Hotch, Rossi, J.J., Reid, Emily . . . you will always have me, baby. No matter who you do or don't choose, no matter what you do, we'll always be there for you. I can't tell you nothing bad is ever going to happen, because that's a lie. In the line of work we do, bad things happen all the time. But if you chose to love someone, to make a life with someone, we would still be there for you if you needed us. Nothing would keep _me _from being there for you."

"But Derek . . ."

"No, Penelope," he interrupted. "You really, really need to understand this. I would never let you be empty, baby. I don't think you could be that way if you wanted to. You have so much love and life in you, and nothing is going to take that away. I wouldn't let it. I've told you before, I'm going to protect you, whether you want it or not. You can't let fear stop you. We both know life is too short for that."

Penelope leaned her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. "I just don't know Derek. I can't picture myself married to Kevin."

He chuckled. "I can't either, baby. I really wasn't talking about Kevin. I just meant in general. I want you to be happy. I want you to have love."

Her arms came around him.

"Now that I've said that," Derek said, "because it's been bothering me for weeks . . . I need sleep. Like, right now."

Penelope laughed. She climbed into the bed and patted the other side. "I know you don't sleep well after stuff like this. So I hope you don't mind me cuddling up with you."

Derek thought nothing sounded better. As soon as she was nestled in next to him, he felt his eyelids getting heavy. "Thank you for being here for me baby girl . . . " he murmured.

The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was her soft whisper: "Always."

xxxxxx

At some point, Derek awoke. Penelope was still sleeping next to him, her head pillowed on her arms, facing him. Sunlight streamed in the windows. It had to be sometime before noon. He reached out with a tentative hand and stroked her face. He didn't want to wake her. If he woke her up, he would have to explain why he was touching her and that wouldn't do. But he couldn't be this close to her and not touch her. He was so screwed.

He really hoped things stayed done with her and Lynch. Because the sooner they were done, the sooner she could start getting over him. Moving his hand to her soft hair, he thought of how much she would freak out if he told her that he was _in_ love with her. She hated change, and she would absolutely go nuts. He was going to have to tread carefully, give her plenty of time and space. Tomorrow he would take her to meet his family. He would show her Chicago—take her to the Riverwalk and to the youth center. He would let things continue as they were for awhile, so that she could get over Lynch. He would let things continue between them as they were for a while.

It wasn't that he wasn't ready to tell her how he felt. He didn't think she was ready to hear it. She already feared for him every time he went out into the field, he knew that. She would absolutely lose her _shit_ if he confessed his love for her. So he would give her time and try not to scare her. But since she was asleep, he saw no harm in saying the words out loud.

"I'm in love with you, baby girl. I think it's always been you. Do me a favor and don't take too long to be ready okay? Then we can deal with all the crazy, beautiful mess that comes after." He kissed her nose and drifted back off to sleep.

_AN: Yeah, I know. Not the ideal ending but I wanted it to "fit" with where they are now. I feel like they go in circles, but I guess they know if they keep us on the hook, we'll keep coming back for more! Again, have a Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for reading/reviewing!_


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